For those of you who have read my book, you already know that my wife Rose has a strong affinity for fish. Yellow fin tuna, Blue marlin, Lapu-lapu, Dorado, and many others that are commonly found in these water. Let me clarify Rose's affinity for fish. They are Not for pets, but rather for our delicious meals.
On Wednesday morning, Rose and I were fortunate to be in the fish market.
'Hon, can I buy a yellow fin tuna and a blue marlin? They are very big, very fresh, and they look pretty!' I smile and agree to her simple request. Minutes later, she returns with 10 kilos (22 pounds) of fish that totaled us about US$24. Happy with her catch, she couldn't wait to get them home to gut and freezing them. 'I think you will love these fish when I grill them for you!' I smile and we head home.
Arriving home, we discover our daughter happily playing in a rain barrel with her friend Elizabeth. 'Hi Mommy and Daddy! Because it is so hot, we are playing in the water.' Rose and I agree with April's good idea, because it is so Darn hot! But instead of Rose and I joining them in the water, we go into the kitchen, turn on the air conditioner and she begins to gut the fish - something I'm glad she enjoys... because I don't like touching the dead fish.
As she's gutting the fish, and I'm enjoying a cool coconut juice... 'Fzzt!'
'Oh no, not another brown out!' What's a 'brown out'? It means that the electric company has intentionally turned off the power. What's their reason? All I can say is that after 10 years here, I still don't know.'
'Rose, your grandparents are 'witch doctors' right? Don't you know some kind of voodoo spell to create a cooling rain shower or something similar to get rid of this blazing heat?'
'Yes I do, but I don't think you'll like it.'
'Why do you say that?'
'Because it involves you sleeping with the fish.'
And 'Fzzzt!' I think just her uttering those funny magic words brought back the electricity. 'See what I mean?' she teases.
Later that evening, hoping that after the sun sets that the temperatures will drop... but it doesn't happen. Instead, they do just the opposite. It gets hotter! Ugh... Then I smile realizing how fortunate we are. We have air-conditioning... and I trot off to bed where I quickly fall asleep.
Hours later... 'What in the heck?!?'
Immediately I am awake and wonder why I am laying in wet bed sheets. I look at my cellphone to see what time it is. It's 1:30 in the morning and I'm sweating profusely. Then I begin to realize what is happening.
Reluctantly I tap Rose and waker her. The first thing out of her mouth is, 'OMG! It's hot!'
'It's another brown out.'
'What should we do,' she asks.
'Can you say some of your grandparents' words so that it rains or something. Then it might get cooler,' I joke.
Smiling, Rose sleepily gets out of bed, grabs her halogen flashlight and leaves the room. Moments later she returns bringing me with her flashlight and she hesitantly says, 'I am going to do what you call a 'spell', but I don't think you will like it.'
'I don't care as long as you don't turn me into a frog, and you can make it cooler in here so we can sleep.'
'Are you sure?' she emphasizes.
'Yes, I am sure! Bring on 'the spell'.'
With that she gets serious and begins to chant:
ito ang mga frozen na mga isda para maging kumportable ang tulog mo, katulad ng ginawa ng lola ko sa lolo.
matulog ka kasama ng mga masasarap at paborito kong mga sida.
'Is it going to work? What did you say?'
'Yes, I am positive it is going to work. And you will feel the effects almost immediately.'
'You should be feeling it now!'
Immediately I began to feel cold. 'What they heck did you just do?'
'I cast the spell.
To make my husband colder,
to make him comfortable enough to sleep,
I will do to you as my grandmother did to my grandfather.
You will sleep with the frozen 'peeshes'.
My beautiful, delicious, frozen fishes.
Actually it wasn't a 'spell' she cast on me... Instead it was 2 frozen fish!
Enjoy the Hilarious Adventures of my Move to the Philippines
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